


I love you, don't you mind?

by marevens



Series: be your lover [1]
Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, little bit sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 02:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13894299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marevens/pseuds/marevens
Summary: Reader and Tom have been friends with benefits for a while, but reader can't no longer her feelings so she decides to end things





	I love you, don't you mind?

“This isn’t fun anymore” He stopped kissing my neck and gave a confused look.

“What do you mean” He sounded confused. I’m pretty sure he was confused.

“It it isn’t fun anymore. This” I said pointing to his lips and my neck. He started laughing.

“What? Kissing your neck?” He looked like a little kid when he laughs, one of the reasons I stared to fall in love with him “Want me to start off with your tits instead or--” I cut him off before he can say anything else.

“No, I mean, us. This. Us sleeping together.” He laughed died down. And he looked serious for a second. Tom went from a little kid hearing his favorite joke, to man who’s not taking any shit right now.

“Where is this coming from?” He looked annoyed. Even I was annoyed with myself. He stood up looking for his shirt, he found mine instead and tossed it over to me and I put it on.

 

I was scared of answering him. I was scared of his question. I was scared to ruin everything I have with him. Harrison put the idea in my mind. _“Are you really going to stay with him knowing he doesn’t feel the same” We were drinking in Harrison’s favorite bar; Tom was away doing interviews in the U.S. And after a few shots, I told Harrison how I felt about him._

_“How do you know he doesn’t like me back” I took another shot, I waved at the waiter so he could bring me more._

_“I’m his best friend. And if he had any feelings for you, he wouldn’t have fucked with you so fast” I knew he was telling me the truth. When tom likes a girl, truly like one. He takes things slow, he’s a perfect gentleman, and sweet and he gets extremely shy around them that words barley leaves his mouth. “Just tell him how you feel, maybe I have it wrong.”_

_“_ I just think we should stop. It’s for the best. You are going away for months again and I need to start looking for a job before my semester ends” I tried to sound confident. _I tried_. He saw right through me.

“Bullshit” He was now truly annoyed. He sat down next to me. “I was gone for months and we still fucked the night I got back” he put his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him “And the day after that” He said closely to my ear. _Stay Strong_ , I told myself. He stared kissing my cheeks, working his way down to my neck while his hands traveled from my hips to my inner tights.

 

Here we go again. I closed my eyes trying to enjoy this. _Trying_. But I thought of the empty feeling I get the moment we’re done. The feeling I realize he’s not truly mine. When he was away, picture of him and different girls stared popping out on twitter, Instagram, everywhere. I remember crying to my roommate about it, all she had to say was _“Boys are assholes”._ But not Tom. Tom would never intentionally hurt me. Or so I thought.

 

I pushed him away. He sighed with frustration. He passed his hands through his hair. I really want to know what his going on trough his mind at this moment. “Come on.” He stood up again. And this time I followed. If I stated in this couch for another moment, I don’t think I would have gone back up. “Are we really doing this tonight?” He was frustrated. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want a fight. So I looked away “Is this about your feelings for me?” I opened my mouth, trying to think of what to say. _How. What. Who. He knew?_ “Harrison told me” _I am going to kill him_.

I stared grabbing my things. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I was just going to end things. It wasn’t supposed to be this complicated. I was about to grab my shoes when Tom grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him. “Don’t go” Was he begging me to stay? Was this his way of saying he loves me too? “I don’t care about your feelings for me. We could put that shit behind us, it won’t ruin us” I felt every inch of my body scream, cry. I bit my lips to hard, from stopping myself to cry. Tom hates when I cry. I don’t care about your feelings, was repeating in my head like a favorite song. He doesn’t care, (y/n) you are a fool.

 

I don’t know what went through Tom’s head that I was giving him an invitation to touch me again. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me. Hard. Trying to make me forget his words. I pushed him again, really hard this time. “Stop trying to have sex with me” I yelled at him. I was angry. And frustrated. Or at least I’m trying to seem. It’s better than crying.

“Then why the fuck are you here?” He yelled back “The door is right there” Holding back my tears was getting harder every second. What a fucking asshole.

“Fuck you Tom” I said it mostly to myself but he shot me dead stare, he heard it.

“What do you want me to do?” He kept yelling at me. I sighed in frustration. I want you to love me back you idiot. “To lie to you? To tell you I love you when I know I don’t” A knife when straight to my heart. He’s breaking my heart, and he knows it, and he doesn’t care.

 

I bit my lip but this time the tears didn’t stop, and Tom notice them. He looked like he was about to cry too. And I wanted to hug him, but I know If I show him any weakness, I’ll just end up waking up in his bed. He walked closer to me, grabbing my face between his hands. “I don’t love you, is not a big deal. Let’s just forget about it. Let me make you forget about it” How is he making this whole situation worse? I shook my head, and grabbed my things, and walk through the door.

 

I was halfway to the hallway, when my mind stared playing tricks on me. Playing a version where tom shouts my name and says he’s sorry, that he loves me, that he would never let me go. When I walk into the elevator and the doors closed, I knew, it was really over. I couldn’t help but sink into the corner of the elevator and let every tear out.


End file.
